I've spent the last couple days curled up under a mound of blankets with Ravished, hiding out from Titan. The storm has been a beast! As much as I detest summer, I'm beginning to look forward to warmer months. It'll be wonderful to sit outside and write again! I miss doing that.
I hope warmer, gentler weather is upon all of you soon too.
But just in case you're hiding out under the blankets today, I thought I'd give you another little teaser to warm you up. This is from one of my all-time favorite scenes in Ravished... The entire scene is so raw and so intense... I get lost in it every single time.
I hope you enjoy it. As usual, all errors are my own.
Also... strong language advisory. Tristan likes cursing almost as much as I do. #sorrynotsorry.
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"Stop apologizing and talk to me, beautiful," Tristan murmured, not interested in Lillian's apologies but in the truth. In her letting him in before he really did go mad. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
She hesitated and then straightened, her shoulders going back on a deep breath. "You keep telling me to let you in, but you won't give me the same thing in return. I care about you, and I don't know how to deal with that."
Tristan's heart threatened to expand. His lungs filled with air, the first real breath he felt like he'd been able to take all damn day.
Lillian wasn't finished though.
She bit her lip and inhaled deeply before continuing, "I don't want to stand here and argue with you. Every time we get close to this conversation, we end up fighting, and I am so tired of fighting with you, Tristan. So tired. And yet, we keep doing it. Every time, you do something that makes me crazy, and we start all over again. It's exhausting. Not knowing where I stand with you or what you want from me…. It's too much."
"What do you want me to say?" he asked, putting his hand against the wall and hanging his head. He didn't want to fight with her either, but Christ, he didn't know what to say anymore than she did. "What do you want from me?"
She muttered wordlessly, shifting behind him. "I want you to say that I'm not the only one going insane over here. That I'm not seeing things between us where they don't exist. That you're tired of fighting what's between us too! Hell, Tristan, I don't know what I want you to say or do. I just want to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Not knowing… I hate it. I hate it so much."
Ah, Christ. She was killing him, one little confession at a time.
"That you're not the only one who feels what, beautiful? The way my heart fucking aches when I look at you?" he asked when she fell silent, turning toward her again. His heart responded to her immediately, aching just like he'd told her it did. And Jesus H. Christ, he was so tired of fighting what that did to him, of feeling like he should, for her sake. "The way my skin crawls when I can't touch you? The way I can't shut my mind off because every fucking thought belongs to you these days? I dragged you into this bullshit because I couldn't stop myself, Lillian. I wanted you. I still want you. I want to possess you. I want you as fucking crazy as you make me. Does knowing that make it better for you? Does that make it easier for you? It certainly doesn't for me."
He stepped up beside her, ran his hand down her cheek.
The rest of the fight went out of her right before his eyes. It drained from her entirely, leaving her eyes wide and watery and her arms wrapped around herself as if she tried to physically hold herself together. She looked so much smaller suddenly, so much more fragile than the woman who'd given him hell for the last few weeks.
"I'm dying to be inside you, Lillian," he whispered, "but I'm not good for you and it kills me that I can't have you."
"That's not your decision to make," she mouthed, nuzzling her cheek into the palm of his hand. "It's mine."
"No, it's not." He shook his head, his resolve wavering, slipping away as she looked up at him, pleading silently with those watery, dilated eyes for exactly what he wanted to give her. "You deserve more than anything I can offer you. Christ, beautiful, all I've done since the beginning is put you in danger. Is that really the kind of guy you want in your life?"
"I don't know," she sighed. "I just want you. God, I want you so much I can't think straight when you touch me." A tear slipped down her cheek, wrecking him.
"Lillian, please don't-"
She shook her head, cutting him off. "But I can't do this anymore. I tried so hard to just take things between us as they come and I can't. I feel insane and I just… can't. We can't. I don't know. I don't know why you make me feel like this, but you do. I don't know what to do, Tristan, and I am so tired of being scared. I'm just done. I'll tell Jason I changed my mind. I'll..." she trailed off, another tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm sorry." She sounded so fucking devastated as she whispered that apology, his chest ached again.
"How do I make you feel, beautiful?" He swiped at her tears, hating that he'd made her cry. Hating that she'd reached her limit somewhere in that club and was ready to walk away now when she hadn't been earlier.
Christ, he couldn't let her walk away. He should, he knew that, but now that it'd come right down to it... he couldn't let her go. Not when he wanted her to stay, and not when she sounded like going would break her in two.
"It doesn't matter."
"It does," he argued softly. "It matters to me."
She shook her head, trying to deny him that truth.
"Tell me, beautiful. Please."
Lillian sighed heavily and gave in again. "You make me feel like I need you and it's terrifying. Like not having you may kill me. Like… like you might consume me if I let you. Like I want to let you. I don't know." She shook her head again. Her frustration was one he understood completely. "You scare me, Tristan. What you make me feel scares the shit out of me, but I want it anyway and I don't know how to stop. I don't want to stop. God, it's not supposed to be like this!"
She felt it too, that consuming need. The clawing addiction and burning desperation.
Knowing that, he couldn't just let go. He couldn't just let her go.
Fuck. He was fucked.
He couldn't stop the way she made him feel. Couldn't fight it. He wanted her so badly, and hearing her say she wanted him just as much destroyed him entirely. Ripped away every reason why he couldn't have her and left nothing behind. Nothing but need, and desperation to take, to claim, to soothe, consume, and possess. An overwhelming desire to keep her here with him regardless of the consequences.
He was so fucking selfish.
"I'll call him-" Once again, she sounded defeated, torn. Like she already regretted making that decision.
"No." Tristan shook his head, his decision made. It'd been made two weeks ago. They both knew it. "Don't. I can't-" He curled his hand around her nape, dragging her closer when words failed. He shook his head, a frantic edge to his voice. "I don't want you to go."
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FALL– The Ragnarök Prophesies: Book Two is now available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and KOBO. FADE - The Ragnarök Prophesies: Book Two is available at: Amazon US | UK | DE | FR | IT | ES | Barnes and Noble | Kobo | Books-a-Million