I'm late with this again, lovelies. I'm sorry. Between horrid storms, cover art things, and a house full of visitors, I completely forgot Friday was "the" day. Eek! Please to be forgiving me. I'll share my cookies. They're from Subway, and they're freaking delicious.
Seriously though, this is the final part of the story. *sniff sniff*
OLD ENOUGH: PART FOUR
By the time I
gathered my things and left the diner, Kieran had vanished into the night. My
heart broke a little further, but I refused to cry this time.
I returned to Chatham the next
afternoon, emotionally wrung out and devastated all over again. For two weeks I
sat around, trying to sort things out in my mind, but coming no closer to a
resolution. I was angry, so angry at him for not waiting, for not even trying.
I wanted to forgive him but I didn't know how. Mostly though, I wanted him to
fight. I wanted him to ignore everything I'd yelled at him and come for me.
Three days
later, I'd given up.
I was sitting
on the porch swing, staring into space when Amy and Jonathan pulled up in her new
Infinity. The car was the biggest car she'd ever driven, but still flashy. Jon sat
in the passenger seat, glowering, while Amy spoke to him, waving her hands in
the air. She looked pale.
He shrugged
her off and hopped from the car before stomping in my direction.
"Did he
ever touch you?" he demanded, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he
pounded up the three steps to the porch. He glared down at me.
"What?"
I blinked up at him.
"Did he
ever touch you?" he asked again, his expression absolutely livid.
"Jonathan,
what's this about?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"
"He's
talking about my cousin," Amy answered for him, climbing the porch steps
more slowly than Jon had. "Kieran stopped by Mom's today to inform us that
he called off his wedding. Apparently," she paused dramatically,
"he's been in love with you for years – two and a half to be exact – and couldn't
marry Emma."
"He . . .
. Oh," I finally said, not sure what else to say.
"Oh?"
Jon asked. "Oh?"
Amy and I both
cringed when his voice rose in volume.
"All you
have to say is oh?"
"What do
you want me to say, Jon?" I pushed my hair back off of my face and looked
up at him, too tired to fight with him.
"Son of a
bitch," he growled, his face turning purple. "You're in love with
him!"
"And?"
I demanded.
"He's too
old for you, Lil!"
"I'm
almost nineteen years old. Kieran is only twenty-two!"
It was amazing
how insignificant those three and a half years sounded now compared to how hopeless
it'd seemed at sixteen and twenty or seventeen and twenty-one. Even with the newly
time-rendered insignificance of those numbers, being with him still felt as
hopeless as ever though. More so, even.
"And he's
been in love with you since you were sixteen!" Jon shot back. "I'm
going to kill him."
"Don't
you dare touch him," I growled, jumping to my feet. "Kieran never
once touched me, Jonathan. He got engaged to someone else and didn't even tell
me! He didn't ask how I felt or what I wanted. He just made the decision for
me. And he didn't even tell me he was in love with me until two weeks
ago!" With that, the tears I hadn't shed since that night at the diner
burst forth again.
I flung myself
back down on the porch swing and sobbed.
No one said a
word while I cried.
Eventually,
the swing shifted and then Jon pulled me into his arms. "Please don't
cry," he said. "I won't kill him, I promise! Just don't cry."
"I don't
know what to do," I cried anyway. "I waited for him for so long and
then he got engaged to someone else and now . . . ." I sobbed again.
"Shh,"
Jonathan said, patting my back.
"I love
him."
"Obviously,"
he sighed, sounding resigned.
I don't know
how long we sat there, but it felt like I cried for hours while Jon tried to
soothe me and Amy did God only knew what. Eventually though, the tears
subsided.
I curled
against my brother's chest like a little kid, my face buried in his neck. I'd
soaked his shirt with my tears. I was too embarrassed by my outburst to open my
eyes and face him or Amy, so we just continued to sit there, my head buried in Jonathan's
shoulder while he patted my back in an attempt at comfort.
Neither of
them said much.
I was grateful
for their silence because I had no clue how to answer the questions they were
sure to have.
When a car
pulled up and stopped on the road, the door opening and then closing, I sighed,
knowing time was up and I had to start talking sooner or later. If the
neighbors were home from work, we'd already been out here a lot longer than I'd
known, and Mom would be home soon.
"How
could he just decide to tie himself to someone else if he loved me, Jon? Am I really
so awful he'd rather be with anyone but me?" I asked, my voice cracking
again.
My brother
didn't respond. Kieran did. "Lily, no-"
Kieran.
My heart somersaulted,
not sure if it wanted to sing because he was here or shatter again. I buried my
face deeper into my brother's chest, scared to look at Kieran.
"Loving
you has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was an idiot for not
waiting for you, for not giving you a choice. I didn't know what to do,"
he whispered, his voice full of heat and apology. "I felt like you could
do so much better than me, and I was so fucking scared you'd see that too and
tell me I was a sick bastard for wanting you. And God, Lily, I'm sorry. I'm so,
so sorry."
I shouldn't
have been able to cry again so soon, but tears leaked from my eyes. I pushed
myself up from Jon's chest and swiped at my face. Kieran sat on his knees in
front of me, with Amy standing behind him, her hands on his shoulders. His eyes
were red, full of sorrow. Amy had tears in her eyes, too.
"Kieran .
. . ." His name came out as little more than a whisper, but God, he looked
so wrecked on his knees before me. I couldn't stand it.
I flung myself
off the swing into his embrace.
"It hurt
so bad," I said as he wrapped his arms around me and then pulled me onto
his lap.
He buried his
face in my hair and exhaled sharply.
"I waited
for you for so long, Kieran. For so long, and then you chose someone else. It
hurt so much I couldn't breathe."
"I didn't
choose her, Lily," he whispered into my hair, holding onto me as if I were
the only thing keeping him from falling apart. "There hasn't been another
choice for me since I met you. Don't you see that, baby? You've been the only
one I've been able to see since you tripped in the kitchen. I love you. Beyond
all reason, I love you. Let me show you. Please
let me show you."
I was
terrified that my heart would be broken again, but as he pleaded with me on his
knees before my brother and his cousin, I knew I was more terrified of him
walking away for good this time. Everything in me cowered from that
possibility, begging and pleading with me to just let him try.
How could I
not?
He took my
face between his hands and looked me in the eye. A little of the heartache that
had consumed me for so long eased. It eased further when he whispered that he
loved me and only me. And when he finally gave me that kiss I'd been wanting
for two and a half years, right there on his knees before me, my heart
rejoiced.
His lips were
so soft against mine, so gentle and electric. I could taste the salt of our
tears as his tongue swept inside of my mouth. It was beautiful, so much more
poignant than any kiss ever could have been at sixteen, and so much more real
than it would have been at seventeen.
Kieran and I
have been together since, and every first we've experienced in the years since
that long awaited kiss have been worth every tear I shed that day and all those
that came before. It was not an easy road for either of us, but looking back
now, I can say with absolutely certainty that some things are worth it.
For me,
eighteen and Kieran were those things. They still are.
And every time
he looks at me, cool green eyes filled with love, I know he feels exactly the
same.
His stomach
twisting and flipping.
His heart
racing.
Tingles
everywhere.
This morning,
he woke me with his fingertips against my cheek. "How old are you, Lily?"
he asked, staring down at me when I opened my eyes.
"Old
enough," I whispered.
The smile that
spread across his face was radiant.
"Kiss me,
baby," he breathed, brushing his lips across my cheek.
I kissed him.
Happily,
I kissed him.
* * *
And there you have it. I hope you've all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
PS: Hop on over to
Lisa Collicutt's blog today for the
cover reveal of
The Serendipitous Curse of Solomon Brandt by the lovely Lisa and Aidan James.
xoxo,
Ayden
Fade - The Ragnarok Prophesies: Book One - On Sale at: Amazon US |
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